Sea of Thoughts

It is 3:52 AM I got two warm... 1 warm krispy kreme doughnut in front of me while I binge " Insecure " while feeling insecure. That's some wild shit at 33. It is what it is though. To tell you the truth an old aching thought has reared it's ugly head. " I wanna be married with a house and kids and a dog I ain't even want. Oh yeah and that nice house." That was the original thought, but it has simply evolved.      " This ain't where I though I would be in my life at this age." . I know I am not alone in this. My friends and I have discussions about it and that definitely helps to talk things out. That is why it is important to have a tight inner circle...... Ight off that though. In my sea of thoughts, there is just too much for me to sort through. Instead of fighting against the waves crashing against me, I just let them consume me. Why you say? Honestly I have kinda just learned to float on top of the water. Yeah I get taken under sometimes and sometimes I swallow too much water. Hell sometimes I even throw up because the tossing and turning can get to be too much. However, every storm comes to an end. Some storms may be longer than others but they all do eventually come to an end. The short storms become laughable after you have been through a few of them. The long storms are a different story.
   Ight so straight up, you have to be super careful with those storms. They tend to let a lot of doubt and self-pity seep in. Once that overtakes you, it will be hard for you recognize when the storm is truly over. You will be in a state of mind that is a determent to your development.  I believe there are signs that let you know the storm is easing up, but if you aren't focused, you can end up turning yourself around and running back into the storm instead of cruising into the sunset. Again, having someone to talk to is important, but there is something much more important than that. ACTION.
   ( WARNING STRONG PERSONAL BELIEF!) If you are not taking actions towards your own progression, you will fail and you will stay stuck in the same place. We all need help. We all have the right to seek help and counsel and all those good things, but you will end up by yourself and you will be faced with decisions that have an impact. The questions is what are you doing? It is my experience that if you aren't willing to help yourself or at least show that you care about yourself on some level, others will be far less willing to bend over backwards for you. You are very visible when you reach out for help. You are inviting attention so naturally people are going to keep an extra eye on you in hopes that you are getting better so keep that in mind. I said all that to say make sure you are making a true effort to progress and better yourself.

Peace, Love, and Joy to you all.

My Heart, Mind, and Body Had A Conversation About Her.

Mind: " Hey you two wake up!... Now! I don't care if it is 4AM. I want to talk about her with y'all."

Body: " Word that's cool I was just dreaming about her and those soft lips and that ass in them yoga pants. It took everything for me not to try her that day"

Heart: " I already told y'all, we not letting her get away. Mind, I know you wanna take your time and let things develop slowly but yo, the chemistry is there both intellectually and sexually. What are we waiting for? We need to make her ours. Oh and Body, you been doing great by not pushing the sex thing at all really. I am kinda shocked. Even I was racing when I saw her in those yoga pants."

Body: " Listen y'all, I can only hold out for so long. She got one more time to press those sweet soft lips against me before I get a handful of that booty. It just hypnotizes me whenever I look at it. The funny thing is though, her eyes are what really drive me crazy. I feel like she is looking straight into us. I can't front though I do want to know what she tastes like.  I want to feel her legs wrapped around me. I want to feel her warm breath on my neck while I am inside of her. I want to connect with her in more ways than one."

Mind: " See this is the problem. We said we were going to take our time, but you two bout to mess it up. We have real conversations about real life situations and how we can progress together. The mental connection and the timing is everything. Every time we are together it is pretty much perfect so why do y'all wanna risk messing things up? Heart you can't always just jump right in. Body I know and understand how gorgeous she is and how tough it must be for you to resist, but one wrong move could end everything."

Heart: " Mind you know I am always in my feelings. When she sends pictures I smile. When we talk, I get all warm and tingly. When we hold her in our arms I melt. When we look into her eyes, I want to submit to her. When we kiss..... I want her to keep me forever. When she smiles at us, I feel like with being with her is where I am meant to be."

Body: " Dang heart, I thought I was the sensitive one, but you really falling quick. I have never seen you like this before. But you did make a good point and Mind obviously wasn't listening. We have sexual chemistry so I don't think a booty grab will hurt anything lol. Nah seriously though when we take it there we might be in trouble. Our connection with her is the real deal and this might be it y'all. You know ima hold it down and stand and perform as always ha ha."

Mind; " You know what, y'all go back to sleep. Let me handle this. I been doing fine all on my own. My bad, y'all have assisted a little bit. However, you know I am the best decision maker out of the three of us. As long as you two  let me stay in control and let me think clearly without clouding my judgment with you sexual desires and feelings, we will all be happy in the end."

Body: " Yo I got us those lips though. That's what got us to the level we on now. I hold her just right when we hug each other too. I make her feel safe and secure around us. That is what a woman wants and needs."

Heart: " So the gifts that I picked out had nothing to do with it huh? How about when I express myself during our conversations? Oh I thought so. A woman also needs to know that you care and that you are express your true feelings in different ways so that she can trust you and be comfortable with you."

Mind: " This is what I been trying to tell y'all. As long as you let me manage our physical desires and our feelings we good trust me. I can't lie though this is the first time in a long time we have all felt like we can really give someone everything. I do struggle with the fact that it has been a short amount of time since we started talking, but it is what it is. We can all agree that she is definitely worth the time, effort, and energy. She is easily the most beautiful women we have ever been involved with and her personality matches up with ours perfectly. She is crazy, sexy, and cool ha ha. Fellas we got this and she is letting us know that each day. "

Heart: " I hear you mind. Loud and clear. Matter of fact for the first time in a long time I agree with you too. I know I can be a bit much sometimes, but women are God's gift to man and I am always in search of a connection. Now that we have one, I just get so damn excited sometimes. But this time is different. This time it is real. She gives as much as she receives. This... This... She might be the future Mrs. Wilson man. I don't think she would to anything to break me."

Body: " See heart this is why we gotta keep you in check. We ain't even close to that level. I need time to explore her curves and make her submit to my touch. That takes time and that is important. Your woman should always know that no other man can make her feel the way you do. That way even when you are not around she is still thinking about the last time you were. See I know what I am doing too."

Mind: " I am done with you two. Go back to sleep man. We will talk again soon. Thanks for always keeping it real with me though. She feels the realness too because we keep it real with each other. We all agree but, we just go about it the right way. That's all i'm, saying."

Body: " Ight cool. Let me get back to this dream. We were getting to the part where she..."

Heart: " Body! We know. We know. We were there too remember? I am glad Mind is the head we think with most of the time.  Anyway I'll holla fellas."


My heart, mind, and body had a conversation about her. She is my muse. She keeps it real. She listens to me. She helps me focus. She is crazy, sexy, and cool. She likes me for who I am and where I am right now and that makes all the difference for me.

Peace and Love

Robert Wilson Jr.

Life Changes and So Do We.

I am a planner. A thinker. A " want to know as many details as possible" type of person. It used to truly bother me when a lack of information with the addition of having to make an important decision falls on my shoulders. Life has taught me that you can't and won't know everything. It is impossible. Therefore, I had to learn to adapt and adjust. I had to learn to accept things as they are sometimes. I recently learned that a client I am working with has a terminal illness. Oddly enough my grandmother is currently very ill herself. I comforted them both with hugs and I will continue to pray for them, but I just feel so helpless. I almost feel ashamed that things are going so well for me personally, yet someone I am close too is facing one of the scariest things a person could imagine. I really just don't know how to feel. I know that things like this happen and that's life, but it really makes me question the decisions I make each day. Sometimes I think we take the ones closest to us for granted. A kind word, a lunch date, a hug, a kiss, or even a text can make someone's day. I just want to make sure that the ones I care about know that I love them and I appreciate them. Tomorrow isn't promised which is why I try my best to make each day count. Everyday is a gift....


Love and Peace...

I'm Not Used To This, But I Like It!

So it is 1:36 A.M. on August 10th, 2017. Like right this very moment. For the past I would say.... 4 weeks, sleep has been pretty upset with me. It has been arguing, fussing, fighting, and straight up ignoring me. I find myself waking up at random times and not being able to find my rest. Am I stressed? Yeah, but I have been way more stressed than this. I mean let's see, work is going extremely well, love life is looking promising, my L.L.C. is continuing to grow, and I am finally about to buy my first house. Hmmm not bad right? Ha welp guess what? It isn't stress. It is excitement and anxiousness. For the first time in my life, I believe I have a real understanding of things. I mean a true understanding of what is going on, why it is going on, and how I can continue to move things in the right direction. I feel like I have literally found the secret to living life. I guess this new revelation has opened up my mind so wide that it can't handle all of these new thoughts and concepts. I have always believed that anything is possible in life, but now I feel it for myself. I feel like it is my turn to experience the impossible. I mean I am in a position to basically dictate my salary and work schedule. I have also realized the type of woman that I truly desire and need in my life. Actually I may have found her and date number 2 is coming very soon. She is intelligent, hard working, and isn't afraid of stepping out on faith to get what she truly desires out of life. There is so much more that I could say, but that is none of your business for the time lol. She really makes me feel very different than anyone else has before and I must confess I am in shock. She reminds me of myself. Weird right? I guess I am getting a glimpse of what I must be like. Anyway. Thoughts of what I want, what's next, and how I can help others truly keep me up at night. I guess it is time for me to map things out on the good old white board again so I can clear my mental and get some sleep. A brother be dead at work by 2pm and that is bad for business..... So yeah that is it for now. I think I will head downstairs and eat my leftover wings and watch youtube videos now...

Love...

Today

    Ok, I am back after over a year lol. Listen, if you have been reading my blog all along, you know I tend to disappear. However, I must say after reading my own posts front to back word for word, I feel so good about myself. I can honestly say the I have truly grown as a person. I am much more balanced and focused. I know what I want and I know how to get it. I go after what I want. PERIOD. 
   So I have a rare opportunity that most people don't get in life. I truly get a second chance. I have a new career, new friends, new connections, and a realistic outlook on life. I get the chance to overcome bad habits. I get the chance to carve my way through life as I see fit. I am so thankful for this opportunity!
     I am going to catch you all up real quick.... I own an LLC and currently operate 3 businesses under my umbrella. Uhh,.. no motorcycle yet but I am still working on that. I am single and no longer crazy about love. Don't get me wrong, I do still want a wonderful life with a lovely lady and kids, but it isn't an obstacle like it used to be. I view it much more differently now. It is more like an idea that I haven't brought to life just yet. It will happen organically and I am ok with that. What else.... uhhh... Oh so listen I have a podcast called " From My Experience" it is on youtube and soundcloud make sure you check that out. Other than that I am out here trying to build a future for myself and the ones I love. 
     I feel like I am truly alive. I am late to my own party but I am glad you all came. I will continue to share my life with everyone who decides to take some time to read about it. There will be laughter, love, joy and craziness. I hope you all enjoy it.

ADULTING!!!!!!

       Well, sorry for the leave of absence, but I'm back now. A lot has happened in the 3 years I have been away lol. I crossed a line, fell in love, started 2 businesses, lost some loved ones, and discovered much more about myself...... Yeah I will write all about that later. Yep all of it!!! As for now, I am adulting!!!

    What's adulting you say? Well uhhh... being an adult. Dealing with grown up situations in life. You know bills, responsibilities, adjusting to changes, planning a future, and making the most out of life. It is extremely difficult, stressful, and fun lol. Prime example, it has been 3 years since I have written on this blog. Why? ADULTING! I will say this however, the sooner you decide to start adulting, the easier it becomes. 
     Adulting is extremely important. You learn to let go of childish things, negative influences, and the things that hold you back as a person. You really start to live and experience new things in life. You start to find out who you are. I mean really find out. How? Isolation.. There are going to be times where it's just you. Alone. Stuck with yourself. Sounds depressing right? Well, it is! However, remember you get to choose what you want to do with that time. As for myself, I learned to love myself. I learned more about my habits, needs, wants, and deepest desires. No outside influences, just me and my thoughts. Sheesh that was a long hard road, but I am glad I took the journey.
     As a result of this, I am different. Some things are the same, but overall I am a very different person. I want a family, a big house, a huge garage for my cars and motorcycles. I want to run successful businesses. I want financial security. I want to create and maintain a comfortable lifestyle for myself and my family. So now I have to work for it. That's the reality of it. If you want it you have to work for it. Plain and simple.
      Ok enough adulting blog sheesh. Thanks for taking the time to read this. Thanks for reading all of the older blogs as well. I will try to add this to my adult schedule so that I write at least once or twice a month. Ugh committing to things is so adult. LOL see  you next time.

( Original Post Date April 30th 2016)

I'm Awake

  I swear I don’t even realize when I am sleeping sometimes. Not that laid out under those nice warm covers sleeping, but the “ohh crap I didn’t realize this was going on!” type of sleeping. Translation- Lack of attention and or focus on someone or something. Yep, guilty as charged for real. There were quite a few things I must admit I was sleeping on, one being myself and my own potential. I am just happy that I woke up. I opened my eyes, took a long stretch, let out a nice yawn and hopped to my feet. I am up! That was the hard part. Accepting the fact that you lack something you know you shouldn’t yet it’s your own fault…. -___- yeah that sucks. Fortunately, I am a believer in truth and responsibility. I own this short coming of mine. Now what shall I do about this? I have heard quite recently from a few different people that life isn’t about what happens to you its about what you do when life happens to you, or something like that. Like what action do you take when things fall apart? Do you bounce back? Give up? Complain? Remain nonchalant? Reflect? Adjust? Move on? Get help? Yeah I had to think about this while being honest with myself. I have learned through many problems in my life that there are always multiple solutions, however all solutions aren’t the right solutions. I have learned to think, reflect, plan, and then act. This has brought me great inner peace and a greater respect for life and all of the wonderful things it has to offer. Man, I am so happy that I woke up

Are you awake?

Love, Peace, Live, Love, Life. 

( Original Post Date April 3rd 2013)