Ok, I am back after over a year lol. Listen, if you have been reading my blog all along, you know I tend to disappear. However, I must say after reading my own posts front to back word for word, I feel so good about myself. I can honestly say the I have truly grown as a person. I am much more balanced and focused. I know what I want and I know how to get it. I go after what I want. PERIOD.
So I have a rare opportunity that most people don't get in life. I truly get a second chance. I have a new career, new friends, new connections, and a realistic outlook on life. I get the chance to overcome bad habits. I get the chance to carve my way through life as I see fit. I am so thankful for this opportunity!
I am going to catch you all up real quick.... I own an LLC and currently operate 3 businesses under my umbrella. Uhh,.. no motorcycle yet but I am still working on that. I am single and no longer crazy about love. Don't get me wrong, I do still want a wonderful life with a lovely lady and kids, but it isn't an obstacle like it used to be. I view it much more differently now. It is more like an idea that I haven't brought to life just yet. It will happen organically and I am ok with that. What else.... uhhh... Oh so listen I have a podcast called " From My Experience" it is on youtube and soundcloud make sure you check that out. Other than that I am out here trying to build a future for myself and the ones I love.
I feel like I am truly alive. I am late to my own party but I am glad you all came. I will continue to share my life with everyone who decides to take some time to read about it. There will be laughter, love, joy and craziness. I hope you all enjoy it.
I write what I feel and I feel what I write. This blog is dedicated to my mind, body, and soul. My very being can be found within my words, and my heart is being expressed through my art. Love......
Monday, July 24, 2017
ADULTING!!!!!!
Well, sorry for the leave of absence, but I'm back now. A lot has
happened in the 3 years I have been away lol. I crossed a line, fell in love,
started 2 businesses, lost some loved ones, and discovered much more about
myself...... Yeah I will write all about that later. Yep all of it!!! As for
now, I am adulting!!!
What's
adulting you say? Well uhhh... being an adult. Dealing with grown up situations
in life. You know bills, responsibilities, adjusting to changes, planning a
future, and making the most out of life. It is extremely difficult, stressful,
and fun lol. Prime example, it has been 3 years since I have written on this
blog. Why? ADULTING! I will say this however, the sooner you decide to start
adulting, the easier it becomes.
Adulting is extremely important. You learn to let go of childish things, negative influences, and the things that hold you back as a person. You really start to live and experience new things in life. You start to find out who you are. I mean really find out. How? Isolation.. There are going to be times where it's just you. Alone. Stuck with yourself. Sounds depressing right? Well, it is! However, remember you get to choose what you want to do with that time. As for myself, I learned to love myself. I learned more about my habits, needs, wants, and deepest desires. No outside influences, just me and my thoughts. Sheesh that was a long hard road, but I am glad I took the journey.
As a result of this, I am different. Some things are the same, but overall I am a very different person. I want a family, a big house, a huge garage for my cars and motorcycles. I want to run successful businesses. I want financial security. I want to create and maintain a comfortable lifestyle for myself and my family. So now I have to work for it. That's the reality of it. If you want it you have to work for it. Plain and simple.
Ok enough adulting blog sheesh. Thanks for taking the time to read this. Thanks for reading all of the older blogs as well. I will try to add this to my adult schedule so that I write at least once or twice a month. Ugh committing to things is so adult. LOL see you next time.
Adulting is extremely important. You learn to let go of childish things, negative influences, and the things that hold you back as a person. You really start to live and experience new things in life. You start to find out who you are. I mean really find out. How? Isolation.. There are going to be times where it's just you. Alone. Stuck with yourself. Sounds depressing right? Well, it is! However, remember you get to choose what you want to do with that time. As for myself, I learned to love myself. I learned more about my habits, needs, wants, and deepest desires. No outside influences, just me and my thoughts. Sheesh that was a long hard road, but I am glad I took the journey.
As a result of this, I am different. Some things are the same, but overall I am a very different person. I want a family, a big house, a huge garage for my cars and motorcycles. I want to run successful businesses. I want financial security. I want to create and maintain a comfortable lifestyle for myself and my family. So now I have to work for it. That's the reality of it. If you want it you have to work for it. Plain and simple.
Ok enough adulting blog sheesh. Thanks for taking the time to read this. Thanks for reading all of the older blogs as well. I will try to add this to my adult schedule so that I write at least once or twice a month. Ugh committing to things is so adult. LOL see you next time.
( Original Post Date April 30th 2016)
I'm Awake
I swear I don’t even realize when I am sleeping sometimes. Not that laid out
under those nice warm covers sleeping, but the “ohh crap I didn’t realize this
was going on!” type of sleeping. Translation- Lack of attention and or focus on
someone or something. Yep, guilty as charged for real. There were quite a few
things I must admit I was sleeping on, one being myself and my own potential. I
am just happy that I woke up. I opened my eyes, took a long stretch, let out a
nice yawn and hopped to my feet. I am up! That was the hard part. Accepting the
fact that you lack something you know you shouldn’t yet it’s your own fault….
-___- yeah that sucks. Fortunately, I am a believer in truth and
responsibility. I own this short coming of mine. Now what shall I do about
this? I have heard quite recently from a few different people that life isn’t
about what happens to you its about what you do when life happens to you, or
something like that. Like what action do you take when things fall apart? Do
you bounce back? Give up? Complain? Remain nonchalant? Reflect? Adjust? Move
on? Get help? Yeah I had to think about this while being honest with myself. I
have learned through many problems in my life that there are always multiple
solutions, however all solutions aren’t the right solutions. I have learned to
think, reflect, plan, and then act. This has brought me great inner peace and a
greater respect for life and all of the wonderful things it has to offer. Man,
I am so happy that I woke up
Are
you awake?
Love,
Peace, Live, Love, Life.
( Original Post Date April 3rd 2013)
The Word Man
Words
are powerful tools. They bring about feelings and results. They make history.
They have a lasting effect. They can remain hundreds or even thousands of years
after you are gone. Words are eternal. Once they are spoken they can't be
unspoken. What's done is done when it comes down to it. You can try to fix it
with new words, but the old words will forever remain.
The Destroyer!!!!!! That was my nickname for myself at one point in my life. When I discovered the power of words some years ago, I tended to use them as tools of destruction. Not with the intent of malice or ill will, but as a tool of defense. My words were a way of letting people know exactly how I felt at that moment in time. I had no regard for the circumstances, or any other variable and that's what made my words capable of destruction. I flat out didn't care! Some people to this day are still recovering from things that I've said to them, others have recovered, and the rest have chosen to stay away completely. I have learned to not use my words in such a way anymore. I am no longer the destroyer.
The Healer!!!!!!! I guess in a way after causing so much destruction, I subconsciously needed to right my wrongs and rebuild the fallen structures that I have destroyed and use the power of words for good. Therefore, I revisited my demolition sites and began rebuilding them. Apologies, explanations, responsibility for my actions, consideration, and other forms of words were woven together strong enough to create new foundations for these structures to stand on. Although the destruction still left scars and marks on the new formation that had come to be, they weren't enough to overcome the beauty of the new structure.
The Truth!!!!!!!!!!! The truth and the destroyer are twins with a twist. The truth tends to remodel rather than to tear down. It is a strong lover and wants to encourage improvement through honesty. A vast difference between his brother and he is that he takes everything into account, then delivers an honest and real observation. He also makes sure he has permission before doing so because he knows that he can truly hurt sometimes. Most of the time, truth does an excellent job of remodeling. The project may be grueling and take months or even years to finish, but in the end the new results are astonishing.
I have played each one of these parts in my life. These are the names I gave myself because of the way I used my words. Today I have a new name. I have been this name for a while and I love this one the most. I wouldn't mind staying here for the rest of my life.
The Artist!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am an artist of words. I form and craft my words to generate meaning beyond normal understanding that penetrates the mind and forces one to actually think. The best part about being the artist is that I am free. He is the most balanced of all the names and has the ability to use and combine each name to form endless possibilities. In short, he, not me as a person, is almost perfect. He is everything. He can make you love him, hate him, forgive him, do for him, and most importantly trust him. The artist's work will always speak to his observers and listeners He must always keep in mind through his work, his true self will always show through. I am an excellent artist of truth and understanding. It is the style I find myself using the most.
Overstand me.
Love, Peace, Health, Happiness, Joy, Understanding, and LIFE......
See you in 2013
Continue Enjoying my thoughts and digesting my expressions.
(
Original Post Date December 31st 2012)
A Question of Life and the People In it.
They
say you meet people for a reason. Some stay only for a season, while others
stay around forever. In the end, they say each of these encounters should leave
each person with some kind of experience. I believe you should get or learn something
from each other. I've crossed paths with many people in my short, in my eyes
lengthy, time on this earth. Young, old, male, female, some still around, and
most gone.
What I really want to get into is when you meet someone special. Someone
that "Makes you feel some type of way." I must admit I have come
across some ladies that have had this effect on me. Some of those feelings
lasted a season, some lasted long enough for me to learn more about myself and
move on, and some still remain. I find it funny how we say "If only this
or that were the case I could make it happen." Before you know it BAM!!!!
Here is that time.
As always in life, when you get close to what you feel is
right or what you want, challenges arise. One thing that I have learned is that
the only way to get what you want out of life is to get out there and live.
Obstacles have been around forever. What shall you do? Go around it, Go through
it, over it, under it, or let it stand in your way? I refuse to let them stand
in my way. However, it is not out of the question to think about what will
happen once you reach the other side of the obstacle. Will the bruising, pain,
hurt, energy, sacrifices, and or challenge of removing the obstacle be worth
it? If you are already set and good to go, is it worth upsetting your balance
on a chance of something more, or a greater balance?
Ahhh, that is an idea to ponder. I am a calculated person at times. I
tend to follow my heart over "Logic". My feelings tend to get the
best of me and I would sleep better without the " What if I had?"
question lingering around. Even if the “what if” sets me back and it ends up
being the "Wrong move." I am ok with that because that is what life
is all about to me. Live and Learn baby. To each its own. Everyone's situation
is different so respect to that yo word.
All I know is she makes me feel some type of way and I am no longer
suppressing my feelings. It is what it is. All due respect to the facts and
circumstances, I will be alright no matter how it goes. Though I hope it goes
my way ;). This is the second time around and there is no guarantee of a third.
So why should I let an obstacle prevent me from pursuing my opportunity. Only
time will tell.
P.S.
Got on my DJ grind. I will blog about that soon.
Love,
Peace, Life, and Love one more time. ( Original Post Date November 29th
2012)
A New Vision and A New Focus
The
title of this post says a whole lot. Man I have so many things that I want to
do right now, but they all conflict with each other. They are all life altering
decisions, and some can be done together, and some must be done alone. The ones
that do work together just don't seem like the right combinations though. Then
you have the outside opinions of others. Almost all of them say the same thing.
Hmmm, I want to start my own small business, possibly go back to school, work on a type of promotion, or possibly leave the country for a couple of years. Time effort, energy, and money are all factors here. My desires also play a huge role. I want to have a family and all that good stuff. More importantly, I want to be able to support them just like I was supported growing up,or better. All of the things I want to do will help ensure these things.
The question is which do I choose? "Pray, leave it in God's capable hands, let go and let God." Yes I have heard this and I understand and know and respect the good Lord. I have faith. I am only human. I am both curious and anxious, and I want to make an effort. I believe that the lord would want me to show him that I truly want what I am asking for. The problem is, I think he wants me to make that choice before I come to him. He has been dropping hints for me, but they lead in all directions. In actuality, I could do all of the things I want. Maybe that is the answer, but I am not sure.
I want to achieve all of my goals, but where do I start? Right now I am searching for funding for starting my business. In a couple of weeks, I will start doing more research on going back to school and possibly leaving the country for a little while. My plan is to pursue whichever opportunity presents itself the best. Until then I am across the wall.
Ahhhhhh feels good to vent to my blog and my bloggers. Thanks for reading. Now I need to establish my routine of at least 3 blogs a month.
ON A TOTALLY UNRELATED NOTE I GOT P90X AND THE EQUIPMENT FOR IT AT A STEAL!! SO I WILL BE GETTING IN SHAPE TOO LOL.
Peace, Love, and Happiness ( Original Post Date September 9th 2012)
Conversation On The Moon
I
visited the moon last night and had a conversation with the stars,
They
said “We’re tired because we just got back from mars”,
I said “I'm tired too there's a lot to deal with on earth”,
They said “Yeah but at least you know your worth”.
They flew off back to where they came from,
but left me with some advice and then some,
They said “Rob we can tell you are wise beyond your years,
So keep your circle close and understand that being misunderstood comes with tears,
Head back home and continue to value your own worth,
Because you’re the only one that can cause your own hurt,
You might not understand now but you will soon,
See you next time on top of the moon”.
( Orginal Post Date February 22nd 2012)
I said “I'm tired too there's a lot to deal with on earth”,
They said “Yeah but at least you know your worth”.
They flew off back to where they came from,
but left me with some advice and then some,
They said “Rob we can tell you are wise beyond your years,
So keep your circle close and understand that being misunderstood comes with tears,
Head back home and continue to value your own worth,
Because you’re the only one that can cause your own hurt,
You might not understand now but you will soon,
See you next time on top of the moon”.
( Orginal Post Date February 22nd 2012)
A part of me must go in order for me to grow.
Someone once told me that I am in love with the idea of being in
love... Yeah what the heck does that mean right? Well, the thought of being
with that special person, being in love, and growing together is a wonderful
thought. Creating memories together, starting a family, and supporting each
other’s dreams.... I know I am not crazy for wanting this. It just seems to be
a figment of my imagination now. When I come close to this dream, things always
get in the way. I chalk it up to chance, or the devil being busy, or just one
of life's challenges. I continue to reserve my time, effort, and energy for the
possibility of love. Yet, I don't have it. I feel like I am climbing an endless
mountain. The climate is getting worse, and the air is getting thinner. My life
means too much to me to throw it away on a chance, or something that is unsure.
Ok, this isn't life or death, but you know what I mean.
I love my sister Tricy. She is like the physical version of my conscience. When I know I need to move in a certain direction, I call her and lay it all out. Once again, she has come through. We just keep it real with each other. What she advised me to do was to focus on what I have and not what I want, or hope for. Not saying give up completely, but focus on what you have control over. She's good. I think I’m going to start paying her lol lol.
Back to me. Well, work, organizations, karate, friendships, and love are always on my mind and splitting my attention. The splitting evens it out so that each area is present, but none can be strengthened because I am worn too thin. Love is in the lead. My schedule is cleared on purpose, and I have invested in other facets relating to my love life. I am making progress, but not as much as I would hope for. Now my other areas of control need my attention. But something must go.
“Why don’t you do them all?” “Manage your time better.” “Just change your approach.” Blah Blah Blah..... I have heard almost all of it. Now me knowing myself, I tend to go all in when it comes to things. If I am going to in love, that's where my focus and energy will go. If I am focused on money, then the same thing applies. I have a fear... the fear of forgetting love for the sake of my other areas of control. Crazy huh?
Now, back to the mountain.... I am calling in the chopper.... the emergency crew, and anybody else that can get me off of this mountain. The love mountain has defeated me. I am just tired of being tired. I need a break. Last time I climbed down from this mountain, I almost left it alone completely. I am off this for now. I will try to keep my mind open to the idea, but no more climbing. Next time I try to climb that mountain, I want her to be with me.
I am strapping on my life jacket and packing my emergency flares. I am heading out to the sea known as my life. Organizations, karate, friendships, and work. It is time to just let love float behind as I attempt to regain control. Love I will miss you, but you are in the way of possible opportunities for me.
Well that's just where I am right now. I am going be here for a while and that's cool. Just more time for me. This is just me. It doesn't mean I am cutting anyone off or mad or upset, no not at all. I am just taking a chill pill. Sometimes you gotta take a step back and really check yourself. Gut check time for me. I am going to be a little down for a while, but the results will be worth it.
Peace, Love, and Hope to you all.
Thanks for reading my blog
Don't forget to subscribe to my blog. :) (Original Post Date February 5th 2012)
I love my sister Tricy. She is like the physical version of my conscience. When I know I need to move in a certain direction, I call her and lay it all out. Once again, she has come through. We just keep it real with each other. What she advised me to do was to focus on what I have and not what I want, or hope for. Not saying give up completely, but focus on what you have control over. She's good. I think I’m going to start paying her lol lol.
Back to me. Well, work, organizations, karate, friendships, and love are always on my mind and splitting my attention. The splitting evens it out so that each area is present, but none can be strengthened because I am worn too thin. Love is in the lead. My schedule is cleared on purpose, and I have invested in other facets relating to my love life. I am making progress, but not as much as I would hope for. Now my other areas of control need my attention. But something must go.
“Why don’t you do them all?” “Manage your time better.” “Just change your approach.” Blah Blah Blah..... I have heard almost all of it. Now me knowing myself, I tend to go all in when it comes to things. If I am going to in love, that's where my focus and energy will go. If I am focused on money, then the same thing applies. I have a fear... the fear of forgetting love for the sake of my other areas of control. Crazy huh?
Now, back to the mountain.... I am calling in the chopper.... the emergency crew, and anybody else that can get me off of this mountain. The love mountain has defeated me. I am just tired of being tired. I need a break. Last time I climbed down from this mountain, I almost left it alone completely. I am off this for now. I will try to keep my mind open to the idea, but no more climbing. Next time I try to climb that mountain, I want her to be with me.
I am strapping on my life jacket and packing my emergency flares. I am heading out to the sea known as my life. Organizations, karate, friendships, and work. It is time to just let love float behind as I attempt to regain control. Love I will miss you, but you are in the way of possible opportunities for me.
Well that's just where I am right now. I am going be here for a while and that's cool. Just more time for me. This is just me. It doesn't mean I am cutting anyone off or mad or upset, no not at all. I am just taking a chill pill. Sometimes you gotta take a step back and really check yourself. Gut check time for me. I am going to be a little down for a while, but the results will be worth it.
Peace, Love, and Hope to you all.
Thanks for reading my blog
Don't forget to subscribe to my blog. :) (Original Post Date February 5th 2012)
Sunday, July 23, 2017
Empty and Full
I am definitely thankful for all that I have. I am thankful for
all that I will have in the future as well. That feeling of being “full” is
delightful. To be full of happiness, joy, faith, and confidence, gets me
through those tough days, and those dark hours. Yes, being full is like walking
around without a care in the world. It is almost as if your life is perfect, as
if u have no wants and no needs. I can't lie, I have felt this way
before.
Unfortunately, I am only human. Sometimes, that feeling of fullness isn't
there. Sometimes I am not satisfied. Now here comes the perplexing and even
deeper issue. I know that I am blessed. Things have been going my way and I
truly can't complain. Yet I have an empty feeling inside of me. I love the
lord. I have a relationship with him, and am currently building a stronger
relationship with my church. So, that empty feeling isn't my lack of GOD in my
life. I think I know what it is though........ I am consumed with thoughts of
her......
I am not talking about anyone in particular. I just mean the woman I want in my life. The one that is supposed to be my queen; the one who will be by my side; the one who isn't afraid of walking through this journey we call life with me. I almost feel like a part of me is dying without her. I am not saying "Ohh I wanna fall in love and get married tomorrow." not at all lol. I just want that woman who is going to let me into her heart, the one that I want to let into my heart.
I want her to know that she doesn't have to be afraid to love me. She doesn't have to be afraid to trust me. I want her to know that the feelings she has for me are real and visa versa. I want to give that part of myself to her. Each day that I spend "alone" as in single without even a hint of her, or the possibility of me meeting her, hurts. Yep it really does. I tend to ask GOD why. “Why can't u send her to me? I see my friends, family, and others with their woman, yet I stand alone..... Is it because she isn't ready for me? Is it because I am not ready for her?”. Then I remember not to question him. I am glad we have a merciful lord. He knows my mind, heart, and soul. I thank him for his love and forgiveness each day.
As far as her, I hope to meet you soon. When the time comes, I will be ready and I won't ever hold back. You can be confident in me and know that I will be the King you deserve. Until then I will continue to enjoy life. I will continue to invest in myself and grow as a person. I will continue to express myself through my various outlets................
Love, Peace, and Tranquility
I am not talking about anyone in particular. I just mean the woman I want in my life. The one that is supposed to be my queen; the one who will be by my side; the one who isn't afraid of walking through this journey we call life with me. I almost feel like a part of me is dying without her. I am not saying "Ohh I wanna fall in love and get married tomorrow." not at all lol. I just want that woman who is going to let me into her heart, the one that I want to let into my heart.
I want her to know that she doesn't have to be afraid to love me. She doesn't have to be afraid to trust me. I want her to know that the feelings she has for me are real and visa versa. I want to give that part of myself to her. Each day that I spend "alone" as in single without even a hint of her, or the possibility of me meeting her, hurts. Yep it really does. I tend to ask GOD why. “Why can't u send her to me? I see my friends, family, and others with their woman, yet I stand alone..... Is it because she isn't ready for me? Is it because I am not ready for her?”. Then I remember not to question him. I am glad we have a merciful lord. He knows my mind, heart, and soul. I thank him for his love and forgiveness each day.
As far as her, I hope to meet you soon. When the time comes, I will be ready and I won't ever hold back. You can be confident in me and know that I will be the King you deserve. Until then I will continue to enjoy life. I will continue to invest in myself and grow as a person. I will continue to express myself through my various outlets................
Love, Peace, and Tranquility
( Original Post Date January 2nd 2012)
And I wonder
Just
when I think I know it all, I don't lol. Yeah things happen and changes are
sometimes made at a moments notice. That won't stop me though. I am used to
change. Heck I went to 3 different elementary schools, 2 middle schools, and
live din two extremely different states within the span on 5 years. I've seen
the results of change. They could go either way. It's all about how u look at
it. I look at change as, supposed to. Huh? Supposed to? Yea supposed to...
Change is a part of life. Things are supposed to change. Could you imagine
if everything in your life was always the same? That would suck. Well at
any rate, I embrace and adapt to change. I see it everyday in my career
too.
On a completely unrelated note. I wonder what's up with some of the people in my life. Everyone I call a friend is someone I admire and pull from. They all have something in common. They all accept Rob for Rob. The nerdy, cool, loving, caring, friendly, intelligent, determined, and always good for a laugh Rob. I love that, and for that reason I'm always going to be me. There is a reason why i am accepted in so many different circles. There is a reason why I go through some of the things I go through. There is a reason why it isn't always easy being "me". Its because anything worth having in life must me worked on and worked for. Therefore I refuse to let change or unfavorable circumstance change that universally loved "me" into someone else. I just have to tuck my head and run through it all and enjoy the sunshine at the end of my journey.
Peace, Love, and Certainty
Be easy ya'll Love Life.
( Original Post Date December 4th 2011)
Vroom Vroom!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So
if you know me well, you know I've wanted a motorcycle for a while now. It has been a
tough decision, but i think ima go with a GSXR-750 out the gate if I can't find
a deal on a FZ6R Yamaha. Bikes just seem so wild and free. They are the modern
day horses on the road. I will ride my stallion off into the sunset with the
wind on my scalp lol. As for those who don't want me to get a bike, sorry. No
disrespect, but its my life and this is something I want. Yeah I know they are
dangerous and people die on motorcycles and all that. I have given that serious
thought and have accepted the risks. I do promise to wear protective gear in
order to help protect myself. Sometimes life just pulls you towards that 1
extreme. This is mine.
Vroom Vroom.
( Original Post Date December 4th 2011)
A love letter.....
I've
never met anyone like you before. Seriously. Nah i'm being real with you
right now. I met you when I was a child. I got to know you in high school. I fell
in love with you as the years past. You have always been there for me no matter
what. When I am up and on top of the world, you were there. When I am down and
unsure of the future, you are there. Ever since we've met you've been by my
side. There have been times when I had to leave you alone because I became
too attached. I couldn't handle the emotions that came with dealing with you.
Even now you're here with me on this sleepless night. Soothing me, easing my
pain, putting my mind at ease. Telling me it will be "ok". Telling me that I can
do anything I put my mind to. Daring me to attempt the impossible. Encouraging
me to follow my dreams. *Sigh* I will never leave you. You are always true to
me. Always open honest and straight to the point. I wish I could have you to
myself, but I know I can't. I understand why I have to share you. One person
can't keep you to themselves. Das kool with me though. I keep you around all
the time and our relationship is truly unique because I am just that different.
I am going to begin a new journey with you. I am going to revisit our
relationship. I am going to dedicate myself to you in order to fulfill a
selfish need I have. This is just another reason why I love you. You let me use
you as I see fit, trusting me to do the right thing, as I shall.
I love you music. I am not afraid to say it and show it. I will always love you, because I know that you love me too.
Tranquility, Love, and awareness ya'll
P.S.
I will be writing you again soon. We will be together again soon. This time we will create a new, yet familiar sound together. Hopefully it will serve as a personal reminder of my natural talent and poetic spirit.
( Original Post Date December 1st 2011)
I don't have all the answers. I'm ok with that too.
Just
reflecting on some things that have happened in my life. I am blessed to even
be alive, free, educated, and employed. Something has always been there to
kinda I guess stop me from falling flat on my face. Seriously. I remember being
home alone making toast one time, I was like in elementary school, and trying to
dig in the toaster with completely silver knife in order to spread some butter
on the toast. The toaster was on and red hot. I remember the sparks shooting
off of the tip of the knife. Honestly, I believe under normal circumstances I
should have been electrocuted. Yet, I wasn't. I remember almost drowning in the
back yard as a child and my older brother jumping in after me just in the nick
of time. I remember having a massive headache. I was to young to even know what "dosage" was, hell I couldn't even read that word. All I knew was that you took
these little pills to get rid of the pain. I popped like 3 or 4 of them. Not sure
how safe that was, but as a grown man I realize how bad that could have turned out. Ummm yeah my
brushes with certain death or serious injury have all been prevented. I am not
invincible, nor do I have special powers. I am just blessed. That is the
conclusion that I have come to. I remember my first year in high school.
These five seniors, ok they was some big dudes, pulled me into a corner in the
courtyard. One of them gave me a brown bag and wanted me to walk it across the
yard and give it to somebody. He didn't exactly ask either. What was in the
bag? I have no idea. I was scared, but I thought to myself, walk this across
the yard or get beat down. I took one step with the bag and one of the dudes
said. " Nah yo he a young bol." He took the pack out my hand and told
me to just leave. Don't know what made him step up and say something, but i'm
glad he did. Once again I was saved. I just thank God for getting me this far.
Fall of 2009 trying to finish the last semester of school. Student
teaching and loving it. One weekend I was headed to da metro wit my boy. Slick
road and rainy conditions. Traffic was thick and we were at a complete stand
still. As we sat still holding a conversation, my boy looks in the rear view and
says " Oh Shit!". I tried to turn to see what he was looking at. Next thing I know
my face is slamming against the dashboard. We just got smashed by another car.
That car had to be doing bout 50mph. It caused 3 cars to be totaled. Anything
could have happened to me as a result. Once again here I am.
Sorry not strong enough to keep writing this right now. To be continued......
Peace, love, and joy to you all
(Original Post Date November 27th 2011)
It Feels Right to be With Her
August 28, 2011 marked a day when something
new and life changing happened to me. A fellow classmate reached out with
interest in my career. Nice, cool, and clean conversation. Then I began to say
to myself, she's beautiful, successful, and obviously sees something in you.
With that in mind, I made my move.
Nervous? kinda. Never thought such a rare
beauty could possibly be single. It was also out of my natural element to just
be so forward. Just one of the many changes i've made over the years. She
accepted and then it began
Conversation..... Refreshing, Real,
Intelligent, Free, Honest, Open, Always Natural.
It's been years since I could honestly and
truthfully hold consistently interesting conversations with a woman I am
interested in. She ends up usually just fading and I get bored. They just
couldn't hang. Her on the other hand.... well the sub-heading sums it up. I can
talk to her for hours at a time and its never forced, dull, or mundane. I get
that little tingly feeling on the inside when my phone rings and I see her
picture on the screen. I automatically know that her sweet angelic voice with
be a comfort to me.
Understanding.
You ever talk to someone that listens to you?
Have you ever talked to someone that hears you? Have you ever talked to someone
that takes what u say into consideration and actually attributes it to your
personality? You ever talked to someone who accepted you for who you are? Have
you ever talked to someone willing to say " Let's do this together and see
what happens." In other words take a chance on you? I have and she's my
girlfriend. Better yet she is the woman in my life.
Really?....?
Yeah really. She was down yo, like for real.
2 months of full blown conversation and look at this. She was right next to me.
Usually apprehension prevents people from being together, myself included. For
some reason, GOD I believe, apprehension was completely absent in our
situation. Yeah. Now ima tell ya, I ain't gonna be putting all my relationship
stuff on this blog, that's for me and her. However, i might hint at some
tidbits lol.
Final Thoughts....
Live Life. Love Life. I am just a man in
search of his future by learning from my past........ Yeah think about that. I
embrace opportunities, observe mistakes, adjust my life, and continue to move
forward.
Until the next time yall,
Peace Love and Joy to You All
(Original Post Date November 23rd 2011)
Next Step
I
feel like a new man. My life is very different now. Things have changed, and I
have adjusted accordingly. Where am I now? Who knows lol lol lol. The beautiful
and exciting feeling of the unknown. Yeah, things have changed, but my place is
still the same. I love not knowing every single calculated step in my life. I
just live and look forward to the next day. What I want outta life is still the
same, success in short. I love myself. No seriously, I love myself. I love all
of my imperfections, and I take care of myself. Been exercising lately as a
part of bettering myself. My apartment is always nice and clean, I mean almost
womanly clean lol. I am seeing more and more each day what life is about for
me. Change and adaptations. Stop complaining about what's wrong and what you
want. Instead, embrace your short comings, analyze them and then ask yourself,
" What can I do to change this?" Now, the hard part, actually doing
something about it. LOL LOL. I been nice and fluffy and flabby for a long time,
yet i didn't care. Honestly I don't care now. Yet I know that eventually I
wanted to lose the flab and get in better shape. I don't have to get all ripped
and muscled out, just in shape. So, one day I looked at myself and said, "
Yo time to lose this weight.". Then I found a work out plan just for me.
Got some advice from friends, and went at it. I do a light workout about 3 days
a week and jog, or attempt to jog, 1 mile 3 days a week. BAM!!!!! Starting this just as important as finishing this. I don't wanna just start, lose
weight, and then stop. I want my healthy ways to become a part of my lifestyle.
That's definitely some grown up stuff for ya. Lifestyle changes are extremely
important to me. It is something that I started about 2 months ago. I am done
with temporary improvements. Why not improve and continue to improve instead of
just saying " Hey all better, guess i'm done with that." . Yeah
that applies to some things, but not all things. The next step is whatever you
want it to be. Always remember that change is possible, all you have to do is
act on it.
Peace, love, and success.
( Original Post Date November 9th 2011)
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